So you wanna join CrossFit Centurion, eh?!

How to join CrossFit Centurion!  (yes, another Crazy Ivan rant…)

Lately we’ve had a rash of folks come in to the front counter and give us serious lip service about their grandeur in fitness and why/how WE need to accommodate THEM as new clients at CrossFit Centurion. Hold on here! Whose house is this?!? Let’s have a quick review of CFC Potential Membership do’s and don’ts. Hell, these apply to any CrossFit affiliate worth their salt and who really care about their clients and the results they are trying to impart upon them.

Here are a couple tips.

First, don’t walk in telling us how awesome/fast/strong you are. That screams “douchebag” all over it. We don’t care how long you say you’ve done CrossFit or how rad you are when you do it, truth is we’ve seen the end result of many affiliates and/or CrossFit certified or wannabe certified coaches, and we are not impressed. In fact in many cases we are downright horrified at what we see and cringe at the association people might make who didn’t know any better. Some of the stuff we see with biomechanics and ROM at competitions and with athletes from other gyms makes us dry heave. Unfortunately, a lot of these folks are drop-in’s or transplants from other gyms.

I’ll say it right here – There are probably more bad affiliates than good ones these days, and we know who the good ones are locally, statewide and surrounding us. At the current growth rate of CrossFit, more and more shit boxes open up with “coaches” just trying to make a quick buck with no background or understanding, or worse yet, lack of passion for what they should be doing. If you come from a no-name gym, someone’s garage, a guy who just got his L1 last week and opened a box after “discovering” CrossFit, or the globo gym where you did “CrossFit like stuff all the time” with a trainer, then it holds no water with us and you WILL go through our F Class.

We don’t care how great of an athlete you were 20 years ago. That was then, this is now, and telling us how you held the state record in the 800m sprint in 1975 is great, but when you are telling us in the next breath how you haven’t worked out in 2 years, have bad “party” habits, and/or are pushing three bills on the scale, your old stats are meaningless and you will still need to go through our beginner program and gain an understanding that this isn’t some fluff program.

Your military PT program probably wasn’t CrossFit. Sure, you may be a bad ass Marine or former Teams guy with multiple trips downrange, but that doesn’t sell the farm either. In fact, the best warriors are the most modest and quiet ones. They have no ego and will gladly learn something new, even if it’s not new and they are getting a rehash, they will get through it in the hopes of gleaning some other piece of knowledge. Lots of military personnel do CrossFit, but that doesn’t always mean they do it well or are ready for a full scale, frontal assault at CFC.  This is why we start everyone with a Fundamentals Class. People need to know how we teach and instruct, not do things their own way.

Yes, our F Class has set days/hours. That’s because we all work in other job assignments and these times are the only one we can make work for all of our coaches to help teach new clients the basics late into the night. Many times our days are 16 hours in length. So, no, we will not make an exception for you because you have to get your cat wormed on Monday nights or whatever other lame excuse you can conjure up  If you can’t commit to this, you won’t commit to the regular class sessions and will be hit and miss, thereby wasting our time.

(Here’s a hint: If you join a CF gym that doesn’t have a type of start up or fundamentals program, it’s complete dogshit. Walk away now before you get hurt and bring more damage to the hardworking, caring affiliates and the CrossFit brand).

Consistency and commitment are key. Nothing is more frustrating then the client who shows up every once in a while, doesn’t remember what they last learned, has no record of lifts or times and has to be scaled back over and over due to their lack of commitment. Don’t be that tool…

You are most likely NOT going to the CrossFit Games. Don’t even drop that one on us without us having seen you in action. We have some high level athletes in our gym and locally that eat other humans for breakfast and still can’t make it to the games. Those athletes that do are the 1%. They are like an outlaw motorcycle gang…muscled up, tattooed, mean looking, wearing the same colors, but hopefully without the meth and hookers. Hopefully….

Don’t haggle about prices. You no likey, you go CalFit. They don’t coach there, and since you don’t care about being coached properly, you’ll fit right in. True fitness and health are non-negotiable. I will sell my kids (okay, maybe yours…) to make sure I can stay fit. If you don’t have that level of understanding and commitment, go elsewhere. This is a business that is part of the economy and pays our bills. It’s not a “bro deal” one stop shop.

We also do not/ will not ever do those ridiculous, embarrassing Groupon or mass bargain type deals. Don’t even ask. We won’t honor it and we know if you are trying to come in and use one, you are a temporary, transient client who will suck up our time and then be gone the moment full rates apply. For affiliates that care, those programs are a degradation of the value of your coaching and quality. Conversely that means if a gym is honoring them, the coaching and quality is either crap or non-existent. Look closely….

If you do commit to CFC, know it’s gonna hurt sometimes. In a good way, but it’s gonna be rough on some days and you’re gonna be sore…almost always. Once in a while, you might pull a muscle or scrape up a shin. Everything heals. Don’t whine about it. Fitness and health have some taxes that toll you. Know that going into it and figure out how to suck it up, or realize that this may not be the best program for you. You gotta be cognizant of the fact that you WILL run, row, squat, lunge, press and lift things. We are not going to endlessly scale around your excuses. There are no other options at CrossFit Centurion, except getting in your car and driving away.

Read the sign on the way in: “Check your Ego here!” Go ahead and bring it in. We’ll take it from you and let you have it back someday. In the meantime get ready to have your ass handed to you by our ladies of all abilities and ages. That’s some humbling stuff right there….

Your coach IS going to tell you what to do. That’s how we run classes and teach at CFC. We also avoid liability issues by making sure everyone is on the same page and following our instructions and our program. No, you will not just come in and do “your own thing”. You will do our thing. You must be coachable and open to criticism and feedback. CFC coaches are extremely knowledgeable and we constantly work to make improvements in our education so we can improve our clients. Our program works VERY well and it is what everyone will follow. You don’t like it, I don’t care….go away.

Lastly, don’t cheat. If you come into CFC looking to be top dog, you’re either gonna get pack humped for a while until you establish dominance, or you are going to cheat and do nothing but make an ass of yourself, cut your fitness efforts short, and undermine the hard work the honest client athletes have put in.

We have been catching more and more people as of late cheating to be the fastest. We silently count, shake our heads and make a mental note on those people and tell all the other coaches and top client athletes about it. It’s called “silent shame”.

It’s unreal. Why? What edge does that give you in your fitness? How do the top, honest athletes feel when they are all of a sudden undermined by minutes by people that haven’t ever been close to them in strength or power based efforts? It’s frustrating and demoralizing. We hate it. We may hate being last, but no CFC coach will ever cheat, and if they do, I get their keys back. I will take my lumps and get my ass handed to me, but that’s the way it goes in life. Anything else is distasteful and disrespectful to those who put their time in. Come in and work up the ladder, always remembering your gonna slip sometimes.  Don’t cheat. It’s a losing quality.

CrossFit and strength and conditioning have exploded into the forefront over the past few years. That means everyone wants a part of it, but not everyone wants to play by the rules the good affiliates have set forth. Unfortunately, those gyms who don’t care and are in it for a buck will take on people like “client x” above, but others like CFC will just stare at client x,  and tell him “we aren’t taking on new clients right now” in order to avoid the asshattery that is sure to follow.

It’s all about quality control from the client and the gym and we aim to make sure CrossFit Centurion stays that way!